Ownership of our eroticism

computer sex 003Porn… Gotta love it, right?

Well, no, you don’t really “gotta”.. Some people do, and some people don’t. Some people can’t even agree on what “porn” actually is. And really, that’s okay. Like many things, “porn” can simply be a matter of perspective. As human beings we’re entitled to that.

I’ve been playing around with my Tumblr account quite a lot the last few days. Mainly I use my Tumblr page to try to promote my ebooks. but I also like posting and reblogging things that personally appeal to me. Tumblr is a fantastic arena to do that, as it’s extremely unrestrictive compared to most other social media outlets. Plus, being as “anonymous” as it is, people can be more freely “themselves” there. I love that, seeing what people are really like deep down inside, what they keep hidden from most of the world. (Well, mostly I love it. Some of it, well… ehh..) In any case, it’s incredibly easy to find others of like mind on Tumblr, no matter how “perverted” your mind may happen to be.

Finding “porn” of course is incredibly easy.. Finding GOOD porn, well, that’s another story entirely. For me, most porn is like trying to watch a science fiction movie made in the ’50’s.. It’s cheap, it’s cheesy, most often just gratuitous, and totally unbelievable. That doesn’t make ’50’s sci-fi movies “bad”, it just makes them not good for me.

computer sex (2)Mainly what I look for in “porn”.. and most anything else for that matter.. is something that fuels my imagination. Most porn doesn’t do that. Mainly I question why these people seem to enjoy having sex in so many obviously uncomfortable positions, and WHAT the fuck is the enormous appeal of cumming on a woman’s face??? To me it’s rather gross, but obviously most men (and a fair  number of women) find it appealing. That doesn’t make most porn “bad”… It just makes it not good for me.

What burns the shit out of me is people who think ALL porn is “bad”, and want to eliminate all of it. Including the stuff that fuels my imagination. And I have a reeeeaaaal problem with people who want to take away stuff that fuels my imagination. Or anyone’s imagination.

Ultimately that’s what censorship does.. It stifles imagination. It makes people stop asking questions. It encourages conformity, And worst of all, it just makes sex boring. :) (Well, okay, that’s not WORST of all, but hey, it’s right up there..)

Dr. Marty Klein is my fucking hero.. Seriously!! Very few people can so meticulously cut through bullshit like butter. Dr. Klein is among the best of the best at it. His latest article, dealing with why we watch porn, is as usual right on the mark. Here he squashes the arguments against porn like annoying little insects, but more importantly it encourages people to claim ownership of their own eroticism. And don’t let anyone take it away from you!

computer interruption

Why does anyone look at porn?

Why does anyone look at porn?

For tens of millions of American men and women, there’s only one answer: To get more sexually excited. The goal of getting excited, of course, is to enhance the process by which people eventually get not-excited—also called satisfaction.

Lather, rinse, repeat three times per week for 75 years.

How someone feels about that—deliberately doing something to get more aroused—is an excellent predictor of how they will feel about pornography. For those suspicious of sexual arousal, porn is bad. For those who think that tinkering with our own arousal is selfish or creepy, porn is bad.

And for those who think arousal is OK, as long as it’s directly connected to one’s partner’s body, personality or sexual behavior, porn is also bad.

When people want to talk about their disapproval of porn’s mission of increasing excitement, they generally resort to one of the standard criticisms of porn:

* Watching porn is a form of infidelity
* It’s immoral
* It exploits actresses
* It gives consumers wrong/bad ideas about sex
* Consuming porn makes people withdraw from their partners
* It’s secretive, which hurts a relationship
* Consuming porn leads to violence against women
* It suggests novel, even “kinky” sexual activities
* It leads men to demand sexual behaviors from women that women don’t want to do.

As standard as these criticisms are, each has a straightforward response:

* It depends on how you define infidelity; what about lusting after women in the airport, or fantasizing about them while masturbating without porn?

* Some people prefer to measure morality by reference to ethics or how we treat others, rather than by a private erotic choice hurting no one.

* Watching porn exploits actresses to the same extent that watching pro football exploits athletes, who risk their physical safety for our entertainment. “The money they earn isn’t comparable”? So if porn actresses make a fortune (some do), watching porn is OK?

* Most adults watching porn know it depicts fantasy, not a documentary. In every society, in every age, people have held inaccurate or harmful ideas about sex. A lack of real sex education doesn’t help in this regard.

* No one withdraws from a sexual relationship that’s physically and emotionally satisfying, certainly not for the chance to masturbate to a video.

* People only keep their porn watching a secret when their mate demands it—via ultimatums, demands, or other rigidity. And yes, porn watchers could be braver about confronting this—but porn watching doesn’t have to inherently involve secrecy.

* Everyone knows porn watching has gone up, and every law enforcement agency says that the rate of sexual violence has gone down. If anything, there’s a strong argument that porn acts as a safety valve to reduce sexual violence.

* If learning new ways to do things is bad, the most dangerous person in town is Martha Stewart, the queen of reimagining what we can do and how we can do it.

* People have been pressuring each other for various sexual behaviors since the beginning of time. Thirty years ago it was oral sex; before that it was intercourse before marriage; before that it was kisses and embraces during courtship. We should be concerned that there are still people who can’t say “no” firmly enough within a relationship to prevent future invitations.

The deeper issue here is over ownership of our eroticism. Do we still own it when we’re in a relationship, or does the relationship now own it? If we agree to limit our sexual behavior within a relationship (as most people do), does “behavior” include sexual fantasy?

And is it a bad thing to nourish our relationship with our own eroticism?

Anyone who thinks so must also indict industries promoting fashion, perfume, plastic surgery, hairdressing, cars and other large consumer items. Not only are these designed to make us more attractive to others, they are also promoted to make us feel sexier, more glamorous, and more youthful—to affect how we feel about ourselves,  not only how others feel about us.

In a world where we’re all encouraged to increase our self-esteem and sense of empowerment, doesn’t that include our sense of our own sexuality? This is not an abstract thing; increasing our self-esteem and empowerment means, if we wish, increasing our experience of our own eroticism.

Particularly in monogamous relationships, viewing pornography—with or without masturbation—seems a particularly benign and effective way to do that.

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Three Cheers for Banned Books!!!

dirty storiesI love writing “dirty” stories.

More importantly, I love writing stories that contain ideas… In this case, the underlying theme in most of my stories (along with lots and lots of “hot sex”!!) is the idea of people being able to enter into whatever types of relationships that work for them and satisfy them. No matter WHAT type of relationship that happens to be!

Most people don’t seem to like that “idea”. They don’t understand it. It scares them. And because of that, they don’t wish me to express that idea. It makes them uncomfortable. To me, that’s what good writers do… They make people “uncomfortable”.

As a proud author of banned books (thanks, Amazon…), I thought I’d pass along some interesting information about other “banned books” and how they got banned, courtesy of the ACLU website:

Introducing – Carnaltopia!!

There’s a new erotica e-book dealer in town… and this one is hot enough to practically melt your computer monitor!!

Carnaltopia features authors and stories that the folks at Carnal Pleasures considers “the best of the best”.. Stories that are creatively imaginative, well-written, and most important of all, hot! HOT!! HOT!!! Most of the stories are ‘taboo’ in nature, although some are not. Just quality works of erotic fiction that will set your imagination soaring, and most likely send your fingers flying. ;)

Becca Sinh - The Highest Bidder

Currently there are only around a dozen or so authors featured on Carnaltopia, but more will be gradually added over time. I am honored beyond words that they asked to have my titles included among this list of distinguished authors, and they have also seen fit to want to include “Pushing Boundaries“, the premiere title by my love, Lilly-Rose Young.

Lilly-Rose Young - Pushing Boundaries

Among the other fine authors included on this site are my good friend K.C. Cave, as well as Becca Sinh, Tani Fredricks,  Charles E. Magness, Franki McCallister, and Alexi Fall.

K.C. Cave - Book 1 of "Junie & Michael" - Making Michael Obey

Carnal Pleasures is a wonderful site featuring dozens of authors and hundreds of stories. Many of these you will NOT find on Amazon, or many other sites. If you’re looking for stories and authors that they consider the “cream of the crop” in quality erotic storytelling however, give Carnaltopia a try. :)

Alexi Fall - Daddy's Day Off

Pushing Boundaries by Lilly-Rose Young – Now Available on Carnal Pleasures!

pushing-boundaries-cover-1-500x800-borderedWell, she finally did it.. My partner, my co-author, my co-conspirator, and my soon-to-be-bride finally clicked that little bitty “Submit” button, and voila!!.. She is now an officially PUBLISHED author! :)

Within just a short time after submitting it, “Pushing Boundaries“, the debut story by Lilly-Rose Young, went live on the Carnal Pleasures website. Watching her reaction brought back very fond memories of the first time I ever saw one of my titles appearing on a website. What a thrill to see it all anew again through her beautifully deep and soulful eyes.

“Pushing Boundaries” is a short story which introduces the reader to Mark and Sara, a very loving but very curiously kinky and experimental couple. It attempts to portray the deeply loving intimacy between two people that can only come through deep and honest communication. Communication can sometimes go a little awry, however, and their first foray into pushing their own personal boundaries may have taken a negative turn.

This story exhibits an abundance of loving affection and hot sex between this very happily married couple, but also dabbles more than a little into the taboo, and how it can sometimes test the love between two people, even a love as strong and dedicated as Mark and Sara’s.

peek-bookLilly-Rose is extremely proud of this story, as I believe she well should be ,and she is thrilled to be able to share it with the world. At least two sequels to this story are being rummaged around in our brains, and they will be complete collaborations between Lilly-Rose and myself. But she wanted her first story to be her “solo debut”, and I completely supported and agreed wholeheartedly with that decision. Except for just some minor editing on my part and desigining the cover illustration, this is completely her “baby”. And I couldn’t be more proud!

“Pushing Boundaries” is also currently available on Smashwords, and should be available on other outlets soon as well.

This is sure to be just the first step on a very long and enjoyable journey as a husband-wife erotica writing team. :)

stories unwritten

Was it good for you?

sexy reader (33)It seems I’m constantly on the lookout for things that will stimulate my mind. Or that will possibly stimulate the minds of others. (Sometimes this tends to get me in a little bit of trouble.) Well, today I found a little gold nugget poking out of the dirt in the form of an excellent post by Lot’s Cave publisher Pheadrus T. Wolfe, which is presented below. Perusing through various author forums at times, one of the most common questions that comes up (after “Will Amazon ban me for this book?”) is, “How do I be successful as an author?” Lots of people offer lots of advice, but this article really hits it on the head, at least for me. The ultimate answer is, you first have to decide your OWN definition of “success”! Phaedrus’ article presents many forms of criteria to consider, not just one (tons of money!).

Personally, there are actually a number of ways I judge my own “success”… It is, of course, gratifying to receive a check from my publisher every month, no matter how big or small. I’m notified almost immediately by Boruma Publishing and Smashwords whenever someone makes a purchase of my books. It’s always a nice little thrill, even if it happens multiple times in a day. I have also been fortunate enough to receive a handful of very complimentary reviews, which is very rare in this genre, especially considering the taboo subjects I indulge in.

naughtierMore than that, though, I gauge my success in how many imaginations I’ve stimulated… how many minds I’ve opened… how many different ways of thinking were sparked by my words.

Yes, I would like to make money doing this. I know there’s a lot of “free” stuff out there in the genre I write in. Most of it is crap. And even that’s being generous at times. Charging a fee may not get me as many readers.. but knowing that I’m putting a price on my stories forces me to be a better writer. I received a personal note one time from a guy who said his hand was constantly in his pants during every page of reading If The Door Is Open. What higher praise could an erotica writer ask for?

Ultimately, the main criteria for my “success” is, how many orgasms have I caused?

sexy reader 060Anyway, thanks Phaedrus, for hitting the nail so delightfully on the head:

Judging An Author’s Success

In today’s erotic market, it can be tough to measure an author’s individual success. Part of the problem authors face is the question of how to remain motivated to do well. Authors repeatedly pour their heart and soul into their erotic books. Whether the story is short or long, takes a day or a month to write, an author still wants the book to succeed. It’s worth noting that this urge to do well drives every author in every book he or she publishes. An author’s success is not measured overall, but rather on an individual per book basis. The definition of a book’s success, while a personal one, often transfers into a greater overall opinion of the erotic market. Every author views the market differently and therefore measures success differently, various similarities remain standard for the majority of authors.

My Secret Life, a Lot's Cave eBook, Taboo Series

High Sales – The most obvious measure of success for authors is the concept of high sales. This metric poses numerous problems, especially for controversial erotica. Many erotica authors hear grandiose stories of riches and wealth from other authors bragging (sometimes falsely) about their book’s latest success. Claims of making $5,000 dollars in a single month is not unheard of. For an author trying to make a living and barely getting by, this is immensely discouraging. The truth is, many authors would be considered successful just to make a meager living from their royalties. Perceptions do not change easily in authors’ minds however, causing many successful authors to quit early just because they don’t see insane profits as quickly as they’d like.

Birthday Bang, a Lot's Cave eBook, written by Becca Sinh

Reader Feedback – Reader feedback is perhaps a less obvious measure of success which authors rely on heavily. Nothing excites an author more than seeing a positive book review raving about his or her writing skill and efforts. These reviews many times are the only measurement of a reader’s happiness. In the erotic market however, book reviews are rare occurrences, as readers often do not want their name connected permanently with erotica on Internet. Even so, in today’s market, many authors give away free copies of their books by the hundreds just to receive this feedback. The truth is, we live in an age where many reviews are faked, paid for, or insincere. Because of this, many readers have stopped looking at reviews, not to mention even reading them. For erotica authors, reviews should not be a measure of success in any form. On the bright side, a bad review doesn’t make an author’s work bad either, as so many erotica authors find their books under attack by religious zealots.

The Spying Game, a Lot's Cave eBook, written by Kinky Vinyl

Fan Base – Another less obvious measure of success worth noting is the idea of a fan base. Many authors just starting out want to see a fan base, or an instant number of guaranteed sales. While this may actually be a justified measurement of success, this metric is the hardest to judge. Fan bases change depending on time of year, individual financial situations, and book platform availability. It’s worth noting that just because an author sees a disproportionate number of readers to actual sales doesn’t mean those “fans” don’t exist. In actuality, it takes several months, if not years, to build a good steady fan base. While a fan base isn’t a good way to measure success, it can be a rewarding undertaking for authors to consider. Keeping the reader in mind will often turn out to be a better experience for authors.

Whipped Creme, a Lot's Cave eBook, written by Lily Weidner

Getting Discovered –  The worst metric of success in the mind of many authors is a fantasy of “getting discovered.” Fifty Shades of Grey, left many erotic authors with sudden hopes of their book taking off. While the Fifty Shades Trilogy has done enormously well in multiple regards, authors should not use this as a tool of measurement. Many authors have compared their own writing to that book, finding their own better. Authors begin wondering why his or her books haven’t taken off. Getting discovered is a lengthy, painful, and not always beneficial process–much depends on chance. Authors should instead focus on writing their books, enjoying the freedom they have to do so. This is especially true for authors of more controversial works; consider the likelihood of such books taking off in the public mindset. While getting discovered isn’t impossible, it should NEVER be a metric for new authors to gauge success in any form.

Three Men and a Babe, a Lot's Cave eBook, written by Becca Sinh

With so many traps to measure success, accurate judgments of success may seem impossible. Authors will find that multiple ways to judge success do exist, however. These methods will be very individual, but each author should try to be adopt them in some form. Try replacing any of the above traits with the following positive ways to judge success:

Positive Ways To Judge Success

Writing Goals – Every author has things they’d like to work on. Whether it’s about writing better blurbs, or changing the overall length of stories, writing goals can be extremely productive. Setting small goals that enhance the quality of an author’s writing will lead to outside feelings of accomplishment. In time, authors will feel less defensive of their writing opting to actually share selections of their work. Being able to take a step back from your writing will also help the feelings of anxiety and nervousness at publishing a new book. Feeling proud of your work as an author is more important than feeling successful by society’s standards. At the end of the day, an author has to answer to themselves about their writing first. Small writing goals is certainly the way to go. If an author wants to be successful, then keep writing writing writing and do not stop to play with marketing, making book covers, or become distracted by other facets of publishing.

The Girl by the River, a Lot's Cave eBook, written by Amicus

Quarterly Sales – While I mentioned above that high sales rates are a bad measure of success, that doesn’t mean sales are a completely negative measurement tool. Taking a step back, and looking at your personal sales report can be highly productive. Please do not use this on a monthly basis, as some months are not good sale months… ever. The right unit of measurement seems to be somewhere around every four months. A four month’s span seems to be just enough time to find an overall sales pattern. By comparing four months at a time with another 4 month segment, authors can see increases based on the number of new books an author has for sale. Looking at these subtle increases, an author will most likely find only a positive notion of success from these overall spans of time while looking at it month by month doesn’t cut it at all.

Love and Lust, a Lot's Cave eBook, written by Marshall Gibson

Knowledge of the Market – An author hardly ever considers their knowledge of the market as a measure of success. This is one of the biggest mistakes made, especially by authors just starting out. Knowledge of the market seems to correlate to an author’s success. Think about it; the more an author can navigate the market, the more an author knows how to judge their books. Taking into consideration how successfully an author can navigate their potential sales, an author quickly changes their writing. Not always, but usually these changes are for the better. Authors that take time to understand how the market works learns to improve the writing of their blurbs, their story content, and even to set the titles of their book. In order to truly be successful, an author simply must learn how the market works.

Pimp Dino, a Lot's Cave eBook, written by Tani Fredricks

Trademark Writing – Part of understanding the market and improved authorship skills results in trademark writing. This takes a couple different forms, depending on the author. Some authors like their cover to have a certain design quality specific to them. Other authors tend to write only within a certain sub-genre. Being able to lock yourself within a specific sub-genre really allows author success. While some authors hesitate to pick one sub-genre for fear of not appealing to the vast majority of people. successful authors know their audience. Writing for five different sub-genres creates confused readers who will, never really know what they’ll get. Trademarking turns into a positive way to measure success.

Into the Land of Humans, a Lot's Cave eBook, written by Baron LeSade

Fan Outreach – Differing from trying to measure a fan base, an author’s fan outreach doesn’t focus on numbers. Fan outreach is an author’s ability to be found online by their readers. Taking time to utilize social media is the sign of a successful author. Not getting trapped in an endless social media marketing loop authors that have fan outreach know when to quit. Taking time to be searchable, but not overwhelming, successful authors have the ability to self promote. While this may not seem important to success, it is. If an author takes time to look at their appeal to readers, they can gauge some fan feedback. All in all, fan outreach can be good or bad. It can get real bad if an author spends time blogging that would be more productive in getting a new book out.

Complete Anthology, a Lot's Cave eBook, written by Suzie McLean

Taking time to measure success can be painful for authors who don’t know any better. Realizing that some gauging methods are more successful than others, authors keep from getting too discouraged. Judging the various methods for their effectiveness, some authors may find individual ways of feeling successful. So many author experiences are unique, as each genre can be measured differently. Feedback from readers may be more likely for example, or sales higher than in a separate genre. Whatever method an author uses, it’s important to remember everything should be taken with a grain of salt. Feedback won’t always be positive, but that doesn’t mean all books are poorly written. Take time to enjoy being an author, whether or not you feel successful. In any case, for an author to be successful, just keep on writing and do not waste too much time gauging. Write!

I’m Coming Soon!

My first book is almost finished! Is that not what you thought I meant?

I’d like to share a little about me and what brought me to erotica writing, and to Forrest Young.

I married early, and divorced early as well. By the time I was in my mid 20s, I was a single mom of three wonderful kidlets. In my “spare” time (because we all know parents have that), I did what most college kids that age do, I started going to clubs and doing all the fun stuff. I was in heaven. My creativity blossomed and I began writing erotica.keyboard

I never dreamed it would go anywhere. I always thought it was just a wonderful outlet for my imagination and my libido. It also helped me cultivate my ability to type with one hand. I had fun with it. A lot of fun with it.

Over the next twenty years, fun died. My erotica long ago fell by the wayside. I was a dedicated mom and that was my only mission in life. I had given up on everything fun. No imagination. Relationships with men were few and far between. And of course, the only sex was with myself. A large part of who I am was gone. And I thought I was fine with it.

I’m so grateful my eyes were opened.

Thanks to the Internet, I found this man most of you know as Forrest Young. We did the customary exchanging of text messages and emails before we met at a local park. It was very safe, for me. We followed all those Internet dating rules.

Forrest, on the other hand, got a huge surprise. Due to a slight oversight, his pen name jumped out at me the very first time we emailed from our personal email addresses. I don’t know about you, but I *had* to Google him. Wow! I learned a whole lot in a short time. And between you and me, I loved it!

But seriously though, that could have been a disaster for him, right? Or maybe he didn’t need a woman in his life who was opposed to his flow of ideas. I personally believe everything happens for a reason. In this case, it drew us together instantly. Forrest was so relieved when I sent him a sample of my writing. He knew instantly that I was not going to judge him. How can I judge him when I’m delightfully deviant, too?

We enjoyed deep conversations about our pasts, our experiences, our journeys. We talked, and talked, and talked. He turned on my mind and reawakened my curiosity and imagination. The flow of ideas in my head started and I was writing again! I was writing again!! Among other things.

One of Forrest’s first goals was to help me get published. We’re almost there! I’m nervous and scared, but excited and hopeful. How can I not be? But I love to write. It’s part of who I am. He’s helping me remember how to embrace all the wonderful things that are me. I’m so very grateful to have found him.

Together we’re working on several projects. One of which is a wedding. Another is collaboration on erotica writing. Both of them bring us together and help us stay focused on what brought us together, and what will inevitably be a wonderful way to remember why we’re so perfect for each other. Husband and wife, and partners in crime.

Wantonly Humping Legs

Heyy, look at this… TWO POSTS from me in ONE DAY! (If you’re wondering about the title, just keep reading.. It will make sense, I promise, and you will probably chuckle at my creativity. Then again, maybe not…)

computer sex 001A while back a fellow author asked me about the benefits of using social media, and the best ways to go about it. Since then, I’ve been rumbling in my head about putting up a post concerning that, the benefits and pitfalls of various ones, and how to use them to an author’s advantage. Well, just recently I came across an article that actually offered much more sage advice about it than I would be capable of. (And probably with much more flair. I’m kinda jealous about that part.)That article is posted below in its entirety, as well as a link to the original source. 

Social media is a great tool for self-promotion and making your presence known, but let’s face it, it can only do so much. Using social media alone is not going to make you rich by any means. But it is an excellent start, and a place you can direct people to. Even if you have a publisher, self-promotion and an attractive web presence is pretty crucial. I will probably still offer my own thoughts about each type of social media, what’s good and what’s bad about them, and how best to use them in a future post, but for now, here are some excellent words of wisdom concerning that topic from Chuck Wendig on the Terrible Minds website: 


You can sell books using social media.

You also can’t really sell books using social media.

The cat is both dead and alive.

Let me unpack this a little bit.

For quite some time, social media has been promoted by nearly everybody, including publishers, as a Very Good Way to SELL YOUR BOOKS. You have a Certified Platform. It is the place where you express your Authorial Brand. (My platform is cobbled together from the skulls of my enemies, and my brand looks like Calvin peeing on a tiny bigot.) Publishers say: YOU MUST TWEET. YOU MUST FACEYTALK. YOU MUST BLARGH ON THE BLOGS. Not-good publishers take this a step further and basically use an author’s social media presence — meaning, her brand and platform, or her “brandform,” if we’re into making up shitty corporate-speak — to sell the books instead of actually levying their own power as a publisher to do the same. (Note: if this is your publisher’s only marketing plan, please bill them for your time.)

And it has become quite understood across both traditional and indie publishing that This Is Now How You Sell Books. And that’s not entirely inaccurate.

But it is a little bit inaccurate.

You can, indeed, sell books on social media.

You can sell, depending on your outreach, 10s to 100s of copies of your books.

That’s not nothing. Every book sold is a pebble thrown into the water. And each pebble has the potential to make ripples that reach shores you had never previously reached. Word-of-mouth is the truest driver for selling your work, and where once our “circle of trust” in that regard was fairly small (and entirely IRL), it has grown much wider given our online networks. So, selling a book to even a single person has meaning. That person, if they like it, may go on and tell their friends (online and off) about the book. And they may tell their friends, and on and on.

Problem is, this is an effect with diminishing returns. You ping your social network a handful of times and after that, they start to feel besieged by the promotion. Here and there, “Hey, I have a book, and I want to speak earnestly about it?” That can work. But a constant barrage of LOOK BOOK LOOK BOOK HEY HEY HEY I WROTE A BOOK I WROTE A BOOK is you being a dog just wantonly humping legs. Maybe we’re not mad at you about it, but it’s still a little embarrassing for everyone involved. If you’re an author with a book out, it’s expected that you’ll advertise it, talk about it, and keep a little momentum going. But it’s also feared that you’ll become a nuisance with it, performing an action equivalent to hitting people in the throat with the damn thing.

So, to reiterate –

Social media can sell some books.

Publishers, however, don’t want to sell “some” books.

They want to sell all the books.

Selling 10s or 100s of copies is not enough to keep your publisher afloat, and it is not enough to justify your advance or their marketing budget (assuming that budget is more than just a shoebox full of bottlecaps and sadness). It will buy them and you too little whiskey.

No, your publisher wants to sell 1000s of copies.

So, how do you do that?

Mostly? You don’t.

The one aspect in your control here is the writing. You write the best book you can. Always and forever. Is this a guarantor of your success? Ha ha ha, fuck no. But it’s something, and at least you can feel good about the book you wrote. Writing a good book is not a prerequisite toward selling well, but it’s a noble, valuable start. Why, do you want to write a bad book? For shame.

Beyond that? Where do the sales come from?

It’s on your publisher.

The publisher has the means to push that book in ways that are both traditional and innovative — a variety of marketing and advertising efforts across the spectrum. Trade reviews and media attention and placement on tables and all that jazz is by and large up to your publisher and how much cachet and cash they have. Again, these things are not a guarantee for success, but remember how I said each book sold is a pebble thrown? Right, your publisher can throw a catapult full of pebbles. They have gatling guns capable of firing hundreds of pebbles a minute. Meanwhile, you just have your two hands. Your two ink-stained, Dorito-dusted hands.

Now, again, maybe you with your two hands can do better than your publisher.

But it’s less likely. Why is that?

Because success in writing and publisher is very frequently a game of luck.

But it’s not purely random luck — this isn’t fucking Chutes and Ladders, man (by the way, FUCKING CHUTES is probably a porn site so I’m sure I’m going to get some great search term hits from that). This is a luck you can tweak. Luck you can add to. Every pebble thrown is (in RPG terms) a modifier to your Luck score. So when the time comes to roll your Luck, well, you get a shot at a more favorable outcome because of all your modifiers.

(For self-publishers, the same thing applies but with the simple reminder that you are more than an author — you are an author-publisher. That’s why I prefer that term, because now you’re doing double-duty. You still can’t count on PURE SOCIAL MEDIA to sell your book. You gotta get savvy. Creative. And if you can’t do that directly…? Then you hire people who can.)

So, social media sells books.

Just not as many as you want.

And more importantly, not as many as publishers might hope.

Now you’re asking:

What, then, is the missed opportunity? The one mentioned in the post’s title?

Social media is not great for authors selling books.

But it is an excellent way to make and cultivate professional connections — and, dare I say it, friendships. Listen, social media is a fucking gonzo great place to hang out with other writers, editors, artists. It’s an awesome place to meet agents, bloggers, booksellers, librarians, readers. It is a fundamental vortex of book-love. You can meet people telling stories across a wide variety of media: books, comics, movies, games. Just talking to folks — and being the best version of yourself when you do it — is another way to throw pebbles. But what you build here aren’t front-end sales. It’s a kind of personal infrastructure. People are awesome. And people make up the industry in which we hope to work. I don’t mean you should get on social media just as some crass promotional exercise — a way to “get work.” But it is a damn good way to meet like-minded folks and learn things from one another. That has huge professional and personal value.

Worry less about selling books online.

Worry more about being a COOL HUMAN meeting other COOL HUMANS.

That last one will take you far.

Silence When We Need Speech

sexy reader 051The concept of censorship should be an atrocity to any author. But especially to an erotica author.

I’ve been “in hiding” for a while, therefore pretty much out of the loop. Getting back into the loop, haunting old hangouts, has at times been a little disheartening. While it doesn’t seem to be quite as prevalent, one of the burning questions still frequently being asked is, “What will get me banned?”

What a sorry question for an author to ask. What a pathetic issue to constantly keep in the back of your head as you’re sitting there trying to be creative. So nice to know that the Amazonian hoops are still so successfully squashing independent thought and ‘creativity. As big as they are, how can they not know what’s best for us, right.

With that in mind, here is a year-old article, boldly presented by a proud author of banned books:

Down With Censorship! 11 Quotes From Authors About The Tragedy of Book Banning

In honor of Banned Books Week 2014, we wanted to find out how some of history’s most influential thinkers feel about censorship. Scroll down to read their totally on-point comments.

“Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.” — Mark Twain

“It’s not just the books under fire now that worry me. It is the books that will never be written. The books that will never be read. And all due to the fear of censorship. As always, young readers will be the real losers.” — Judy Blume

“The crime of book purging is that it involves a rejection of the word. For the word is never absolute truth, but only man’s frail and human effort to approach the truth. To reject the word is to reject the human search. ” — Max Lerner

“If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed.” — Benjamin Franklin

“Books won’t stay banned. They won’t burn. Ideas won’t go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost.” — Alfred Whitney Griswold

“Yes, books are dangerous. They should be dangerous — they contain ideas.” — Pete Hautman

“Banning books gives us silence when we need speech. It closes our ears when we need to listen. It makes us blind when we need sight.” Steven Chbosky

“If librarianship is the connecting of people to ideas…it is crucial to remember that we must keep and make available, not just good ideas and noble ideas, but bad ideas, silly ideas, and yes, even dangerous or wicked ideas.” — Graceanne A. Decandidio

“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.” — Oscar Wilde

“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. ” — Joseph Brodsky

“Books and ideas are the most effective weapons against intolerance and ignorance.” — Lyndon Baines Johnson

Read more at http://blog.theliteracysite.com/down-with-censorship-11-quotes-from-authors-about-the-tragedy-of-book-banning/#XPmOip5GRer3lil1.99

Seeding the Brat: Pseudo-incest erotica by K.C. Cave

I am reposting this entry by fellow erotica author and friend K.C.Cave for two reasons: One, we can all use all the help we can get, and I really should be working on more promotion, both for my works and the works of others, and two, this book actually warranted a review from erotica author Sylvia Storm! 

You see, Sylvia Storm, as a general rule, does not review books with any sort of “taboo” theme to them. I did have the pleasure of having a couple of my books reviewed by Ms. Storm. However, although she did offer some complementary praise to me privately when I submitted my story Lucy to her, she refused to review it publicly because of the taboo aspect of it. Apparently this submission by K.C. was exceptional enough for Ms. Storm to forego that personal policy.

So, congratulations, K.C., for not only “stretching your boundaries” a bit with this title, but for also being good enough to cause Sylvia Storm to reconsider her policy and make an exception for you. That’s quite a feat all the way around. :)

Source: Seeding the Brat: Pseudo-incest erotica by K.C. Cave

E-Read Erotica Reviews: The book finds its voice early, and it feels like comfortable writing. You know it when you reads it, the writer just takes you on a sight-filled trip, doesn’t feel obligated to explain everything, and skips along in time over the most important points until it settles down for the main event. … The sex scenes even stop when they serve their point. Oh my, a writer actually in control of the beast? Very nice work, patience, and control shown here. Give yourself a gold star.

Hannah was wealthy after her rich parents drowned on their swingers cruise. All the money in the world, though, couldn’t do anything about the brat’s raging hormones and her overwhelming urge to procreate.

So the 18-year-old beauty set her sights on Angus, the recent college grad she grew up with. One problem: Hannah’s a virgin. But she learned a lot about the male of the species as she huddled in her secret hiding place and watched the well-endowed Angus pleasure himself.

The sight, sounds and smells of him coming to climax after climax over the summer gave the brat an idea that would right a wrong (Angus was gypped out of his inheritance) and satisfy her lust.

But for the plan to work, Hannah must convince Angus it was his idea to seed the brat. [brat, masturbation, MF erotica, explicit erotica, mutual masturbation, taboo erotica, humorous erotica, virgin]


“Show me your balls.”

Angus cupped his testicles, pulling them up to the base of his dick.

“Stand up. I just can’t figure out how guys walk with all that stuff between their legs.”

“It’s more like in front,” he said, standing.

“Let me see.”

Angus took a few steps, his jeans fell to his ankles and he nearly stumbled. They both laughed, and he kicked off his jeans.

“What’s it feel like? I mean, a hard on?”

“Like a hunk of heavy wood, oak maybe,” he said, hefting his dick. “Just before I come, it’s like a piece of iron pipe, heavy and full.”

“And your balls?”

“Not as sensitive. But I get this dull ache, hard to describe, if I hold off ejaculating. Doesn’t sound good, but it feels, I don’t know, awesome. The ache goes away when I spurt.”

“But you’re not close to coming now, are you?”

“No, but it won’t take much. I’ve never done anything like this with a girl.”

“With a guy?”

“Yeah, when I was younger. Just fooling around.”

Angus sat down, still stroking himself. “Your turn.”

Word count: 8,858 

Price: $2.99

Available from: Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Carnal Pleasures,Taboo Reading, Kobo, Excitica, Lulu

Introducing….. Lilly-Rose Young

sexy reader 037-reversedSomehow I knew…deep down…the moment I met this woman I was going to fall in love with her.

What I didn’t know at the time was just how absolutely perfect she was for me! Gradually and cautiously, I started sharing all my secrets with her, and she shared her secrets with me. One of the delightful discoveries that emerged out of the many intimate talks we shared was that she was a writer also. And a deliciously creative erotica writer at that! As soon as I read the first sample she gave me to read, I knew I wanted her words to touch my pages as much as I wanted her hands touching my body, her lips touching my lips, her… Well, you get the idea. ;)

The first book of mine I gave her to read was “Anna.” After reading that she grew very excited at the thought of us collaborating together. After reading “Lucy,” she was sold on the idea completely! She was a bit hesitant about exploring my more taboo works at first, but once she delved into it a little, not only did she learn to accept it, she grew to love it! Having somewhat of an interest in mild BDSM, she was no stranger to unconventional relationships, but my subject matter took her fascination with kink to a whole new level. play with me daddyA level she grew eager to explore further. After reading the first few entries in my Angel Falls series, she can’t wait to contribute to future additions. I am more than excited also to see the results of our projects, and to give my stories a much needed “woman’s touch”.

One of the first major steps of course was coming up with a pen name she liked. LOL. With that hurdle finally decided on, let me introduce my fans and readers to my new “partner in crime”, Lilly-Rose Young! :) Already she has offered suggestions and made a few corrections to the next installment of my Angel Falls Library series, “Seduction Of The Shrew”. Book 5 - psp cover 2-FLRY 500x800She has also been busy working on combining a couple of her short stories into one, which she wants me to read through and perhaps add a bit more plot to it, and we hope to release it soon as her first solo title. She also has put together her own Tumblr page.

It’s still a gradual and ongoing process. One of the major obstacles to our progress right now seems to be finding the ability to keep our hands off of each other long enough to get our hands on our keyboards. ;) (Well, that and trying to plan a wedding..) But, we are excited, we are eager to move forward, and life is good.

So, on to the next chapter of my life, both personally and professionally. New experiences and exciting changes.

It looks like it’s going to be one hell of a ride….. only just begun

10 Wicked Reasons You Should Be Masturbating More Often


About Me

Alexandra Jamieson is a functional nutrition coach, chef, and mom. She is the co-creator of the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me, and the author of the new “self-health” book Women, Food & Desire. Alex has been seen on Oprah, Martha Stewart Living, CNN, Fox News, USA Today and People Magazine. Alex offers remarkably sane — and tasty — advice on how to detox, live healthfully and feel fantastic. She lives in Brooklyn where she juggles, somewhat gracefully, raising her 8-year-old son, trying new gluten-free recipes, running her company and riding her bicycle to the food co-op.

Masturbation is both a powerful healer and an incredibly uncomfortable topic to talk about.

Yes, everyone masturbates!

And yes, we should also be doing it more.

According to Indiana University’s National Survey Of Sexual Health And Behavior, more than half of American adults report masturbation between one and four times a week.

Masturbation though has developed a bad reputation mainly because religion and culture tell us it’s a sin. As a result, many of us feel at least some trace of shame, guilt, or even fear when practicing this very natural act.

But with all it’s incredible and scientifically proven benefits it’s time to finally embrace masturbation!

MUST READ: The Incredible Benefits Of Mutual Masturbation

10 Good Reasons To Make Masturbation A Habit


#1 It Makes You Relaxed

According to the 2009 University of Michigan study, orgasms cause the body to release dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin (the “love and bonding” hormone).

The boost of these hormones in turn lowers cortisol, a main stress hormone. Chronically elevated cortisol levels lead to inflammation, stress-eating, insomnia, and weight loss resistance.

This means your pleasure-powered workouts will help lead to a toned body.

#2 It Makes You Eat Healthier

Higher levels of oxytocin make us feel happier, which keeps those emotionally triggered food cravings for sugar, cheese, and other “comfort foods” at bay.

Oxytocin levels are usually increased simply through the physical stimulation of the clitoris, vagina, cervix, and breasts.

So, even if you don’t reach climax, you’ll still release this powerful neurotransmitter.

#3 It Improves Sperm Quality

Why? There is less DNA damage and fewer motility problems with fresh sperm.

#4 It Is Physically Healing


The gut and the mind are inextricably linked. In my book Women, Food, and Desire, I tell the story of a client who wasn’t dating, and wasn’t masturbating.

She had been suffering from bloating, gas, and a frustrating “muffin top” that wouldn’t budge for years. I introduced her to a regular self pleasure routine.

After a couple of weeks of regular self-pleasure, she noticed a marked difference in her digestion, and her bloating had reduced greatly.

#5 It Makes You More Self Confident

Masturbating leads to increased self-confidence and a positive upward spiral of self-care.

When you know what you need to bring yourself pleasure and orgasm, you strengthen your emotional intelligence and connection to your body.

Knowing how your body works and what you’re capable of, regardless of your relationship status, helps you make better decisions and create stronger boundaries about dating and mating.

When you can bring yourself physical pleasure, you don’t need someone else to validate that you’re sexy. You know it.

MUST READ: The Art Of Self Pleasure {4 Unique Ways To Pleasure Yourself}

#6 It Makes You Want More Sex

Another study reveals that sexy daydreams release testosterone in women.

This means that when you read i.e. erotic fiction your body will begin anticipating an encounter, your libido will increase and your juices will literally start flowing.

#7 It Makes You Feel Less Pain

Orgasms (and to a lesser extent simple sexual arousal) increase blood flow to both your brain and reproductive organs, which helps soothe menstrual cramps and headaches.

MUST READ: Painful Period? 6 Natural & Powerful Ways to Liberate Yourself from Period Pain

#8 It Is Kind Of Like Meditating


Sexual pleasure is a great way to clear your mind of excessive anxiety. It brings you to the present moment; kind of like meditating!

The physical release triggers stress relief and can be a great way to get in touch with your body (and out of your head).

Being in the moment, and focusing on what feels physically good to you, is a wonderful intentional practice with many benefits.

MUST READ: 5 Ways Meditation Will Help You Have Mind-Blowing Sex

#9 It Keeps Your Sex Life Alive

Especially if you’re single, or in a long-distance relationship, self-pleasure is a great way to help keep your sexual energy stay alive.

By self-stimulating you’re keeping your reproductive tissues flexible, strong, and healthy. The more solo-sex you have, the more you’ll want sex. This is really helpful for couples that are separated, and for singles looking to keep their sexual energy high.

#10 It Feels Awesome!

Yes it does! .. and we all need more pleasure in our lives, am I right?

By Alexandra Jamieson | Featured Artist: Franz von Bayros | Originally posted on MindBodyGreen

For unique ideas on how to masturbate check out this video…

Do you want more conscious sex, love & life secrets? Follow MyTinySecrets on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube.

Poking My Head Up (No, not THAT head!!)

feeling hardHe’s baaaaaack…..

Well, sorta..

In most people’s lives there come times that necessitate a somewhat exorbitant amount of soul searching and healing. Mine came a few months ago with the realization that seven years of my life turned out to be a lie. One of the benefits, however, of being bombarded by such massive deception is you learn to recognize much better what is real. As a result, I have not only healed, but I am thriving as far as my personal life goes. And  I am preparing myself to jump back into endeavors that I have temporarily abandoned.

Quite a few changes have taken place since my absence, both personally and in the field of erotica writing. To touch on all of them in this post would take quite a bit of space, but it is almost heartwarming to see more and more erotica authors discovering the fallacies of dealing with Amazon and seriously looking for other venues. A handful of independent publishers and distributors are already starting to benefit from this, and I expect more and more authors as well as readers will benefit also. I will also share news soon of a new erotica ebook website that is in the process of being put together, a project that I am personally rather excited about. Stay tuned. :)

I’ve recently been working on answering emails and updating sites which have gone grossly neglected. (When I go into hiding, I REALLY go into hiding!!) Corrections to my Links page are almost complete. Creating a new Facebook page is on my “to do” list, so that link is currently non-functional, but everything else should work correctly now, including the link to my Tumblr page, which I had to create again from scratch. In my absence, Tumblr apparently found something even too extreme for them (which is saying a LOT!!), and decided to just arbitrarily cancel my entire account. Not that big of a deal to open a new one, but I did lose followers there that numbered in the hundreds. Barnes & Noble apparently changed their paging system somehow, but that link is fixed now also.

The biggest change for me personally is that not only do I have a new partner in life, but also a new “partner in crime”, so to speak, in my erotica writing endeavors. She is more than excited to collaborate with me on future projects, and I am thrilled with the possibility of including that “woman’s touch” in the stories we come up with. Yes, we are about to become that all too rare commodity in the business, the husband/wife erotica writing team. :)

Is my life awesome, or what?

Closed for now

Due to some personal issues, all endeavors are being put on hold for the time being.

Putting All Your Eggs In One Basket

push itAnother erotica author advising against the notion of being “exclusive” with just one publisher/distributor.

Good article, and an argument that I’ve been touting for months, but I would also add to this that it’s also important to PROMOTE all the venues your books are available as well. I still see far too many authors promoting their books by linking ONLY to their Amazon pages, even even when they are available on multiple sites.

If your books are available on sites in addition to (or even instead of) Amazon, start letting your readers know about it!

I’m presenting Mr. Michelson’s fine article below in its entirety, but you can also read it from his original blog, and check out his other posts about his books and where they are available.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

What to Do When Publishers Start Banning Your Erotica?

When it comes to banning authors or books, self-published erotica is the low hanging fruit of the world of fiction. You won’t get news editorials defending the right of someone to publish “Cheerleaders 2: The Trouser Snake Returns” and most independent authors aren’t going to pull down the sort of numbers and have the marketing clout that might make a publisher step back and decide to resist public opinion.
It can be worse today because of the of clickbait articles which are designed solely to drive traffic to their parent site. A writer can type up an article, headline it with: PUBLISHER TOLERATES MONSTER/ALIEN/SEXY CHEERLEADER PORN, slap up a few pictures or excerpts and watch the page views (and revenue) roll in. Meanwhile, the publisher’s staff quickly go through the catalog and delist some books so that they can say they’re doing something about it.
First of all, someone, somewhere is now shouting about the First Amendment, that glorious document that protects us from this and lets us sell our erotic stories.
Stop. Seriously. Stop.
The First Amendment only applies to the government. There are some very, VERY limited cases where a publisher refusing to publish something might attract the  government’s interest, but erotic stories? Nope. They have a perfect right to sell or not sell any story submitted to them.
They’re also not doing it because they hate you. A publisher loves one thing: Green, as in the color of the money you bring them. Now individual reviewers or editors might have an ax to grind, but most publishers don’t care. They’re banning books because they think it will ultimately make them more money than keeping those books available will.

So What’s the Author of Erotica to do?

It’s simple:
Never, EVER, let yourself be trapped with one storefront. Always spread books out among several distributors in order to ensure that if there’s a problem with on, it won’t destroy your revenue stream. These companies don’t talk with each other and many of them have far different standards. If a book gets banned or if it looks like one of your books is going to run into TOS related troubles, just sell it via a different channel.
That also helps you if, heaven forbid, you get your entire account banned— you still have books up for sale and you still have an Internet presence. There is nothing worse than realizing that you put your eggs all in one basket and now not only have you been banned, but your fans have no way to keep buying your book. In the time it takes to rebuild your Internet presence you could lose thousands of dollars worth of sales.
Finally, note that if you’re only selling through one publisher, you’re not simply at the mercy of decisions to ban your books or account, but you’re also at the mercy of decisions to change the contract you’re working under. If it’s a choice between rebuilding everything from scratch and accepting a new deal that cuts your royalties by 10 percent, what are you going to do? Well, if you have your books being published through other avenues, you have much more freedom to say: “nope!” and take your books with you.
Finally, a word of advice:
Don’t take it personally. These companies are making a business decision. It maybe a stupid decision, it may be a decision that is harmful to your pocketbook, but it’s not personally aimed at you. In fact, it may be based on an automated scan of your work instead of someone reading it. Getting pissed off won’t change anything and can lead you down unproductive avenues. Just keep your options open and keep writing. You’ll be successful.

Oh, there’s another thing to consider: If you’re good enough to write erotica, you’re also good enough to write general fiction, so in addition to spreading out your options in terms of who you’re publishing with, you might want to consider writing to a wide range of genres.

Sex therapy: Stop trying to be ‘normal’


One of the greatest quotes I’ve ever come across was from Morticia Addams in the Addams Family movie, where she states, “Normal is an illusion.. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”
Now it seems at least a few sex therapists are finally starting to agree.

Originally posted on Missy Jubilee's Vagina:

Three experts talk about how sexual expectations are changing and the issues they are asked to address

Dr Meg Barker

Dr Meg Barker, sex and relationship therapist and author of Rewriting the Rules

People are very scared of not being normal. By far the most common question I’ve heard as a therapist is “Am I normal?” And people come to sex therapy with the hope that it will make them “normal”. Generally what they mean by that is the ability to have sex that involves penetration and orgasm, lasts a certain amount of time and takes place an average number of times a week – whatever all that is!

We still have lots of taboos. A “sexless relationship” is one. It’s seen as the worst thing in the world that would definitely lead to break-up. In truth, lots of relationships are not sexual and totally fine. There are also taboos about people being…

View original 1,722 more words

WARNING!!: I’m About To Go On Another Rampage

chained booksI should probably just stay out of the erotica authors forum on Reddit. At the very least, I should SERIOUSLY refrain from posting there.

Which is why I decided to instead post another blog entry here.

This might end up being just another exercise in futility, but there are just some things that need to be said. This blog post, like earlier ones, may end up finding its way onto the erotica authors Reddit forum anyway. If it does, so fucking be it.

Anyway… One of the latest topics:

Is Amazon really this arbitrary?

So another post with a group of erotica authors again bitching about Amazon’s hypocrisy and unfair treatment. Most of it run of the mill, full of blatant examples and author frustration. Easy enough to leave alone. “Be quiet and just let them stew,” I sat here and told myself.. Hopefully this will be just another step on their way to coming to their senses, and finally becoming sick and tired enough to start telling Amazon to go fuck themselves.

But then, this response shows up, by one of the forum’s so-called “experts”:

Here’s the deal Elena: Amazon isn’t perfect.

It’s that simple.

They are dealing with hundreds of thousands of books being thrown onto the shelves and there’s no way they can properly police every single one. Some of them are going to slip through. It’s BOUND to happen.


Those books aren’t hurting you. Hell, they are HELPING YOU. They are drawing readers who want more naughty content, and those readers will move on to books that aren’t quite so OBVIOUSLY BANNABLE.

But, don’t let that lull you into a false sense of security. Don’t let what is PUBLISHED on Amazon justify what you WANT to publish.

I can go there right now and find a whole pile of hypnosis/mind control/dubcon books. They are all over Amazon.

I also know full-well that authors are getting BANNED for these things. I just saw another one today with a temp-ban for a title that was almost a year old.

Should I write a dubcon book? Hell, it’s almost GUARANTEED high sales if I can get it up on the store, and there’s at least a chance that it will slip past the censors. I could just go roll the dice, right?

Sure I could, if I didn’t mind risking my ENTIRE account in the process.

When you are writing niche BLEEDING EDGE erotica, you are walking around in a minefield. We’ve put together a decent map that shows where the land mines are. Write erotica that stays within those lines and you are almost certainly safe. Start prancing about outside of the lines, and it’s only a matter of time before you lose a leg (or worse).

TL;DR: Stop worrying about what other people are getting away with. Follow the rules, color inside the lines, and enjoy a long and LUCRATIVE journey in Amazon ebook sales.

I don’t even know where to begin here.. This reaches a new level of pathetic, even for this group.

First of all, it doesn’t MATTER??? SERIOUSLY??

As an author, being told you can’t write something is enough of a kick in the balls. Being told you can’t write something while OTHER people can is beyond frustrating!! If you DON’T get pissed at that, you are no longer an “author”.. You are just a fucking automaton sitting in front of a keyboard banging out whatever you’re told for profit.  Being one of these pathetic automatons is bad enough. Encouraging OTHER authors to be one also is inexcusable!

Telling erotica authors to “play it safe” is absolutely one of the most ludicrous things I’ve ever heard.

Erotica authors.

Play it SAFE!!!


If we wanted to “play it safe”, we wouldn’t BE fucking erotica authors in the FIRST fucking place!! You might as well just tell us to abandon the whole notion and write fucking children’s books!

Okay.. Moving on to the next point:

Those books aren’t hurting you. Hell, they are HELPING YOU. They are drawing readers who want more naughty content, and those readers will move on to books that aren’t quite so OBVIOUSLY BANNABLE.

Okay, really?? You’re sitting there trying to tell us that a reader who has had (or came in with) a taste of what Amazon considers “taboo” is actually going to look around and settle for laying their money down on the more “run-of-the-mill” erotica??

Newsflash: If I come into Amazon, or anyplace else, wanting to read a hot story about a horny daughter wanting to fuck the shit out of her father, I am NOT going to “settle for” the latest escapade of a BBW salivating over a tryst with the neighborhood billionaire!

You are right about one thing: Those books ARE helping! They are helping to show erotica authors that THERE IS A MARKET for stories like that!! The answer, though, is NOT to tell authors that readers will simply settle for the other “Amazon-approved” drivel that’s available.. They won’t!! Instead, start telling your readers where they CAN find those kinds of stories they want!! Because right now, readers DON’T KNOW where to find them, because erotica authors REFUSE to steer their readers in ANY other direction besides AMAZON!! And AMAZON will not offer them what they want!

Do you see how your approach is hurting both authors AND readers?? Eventually neither one gets what they want, and frustration is the inevitable outcome for both groups.

But, don’t let that lull you into a false sense of security. Don’t let what is PUBLISHED on Amazon justify what you WANT to publish.

On this point we can agree: DON’T publish what you want to publish on Amazon!!

Publish it somewhere else.

And then start telling your readers where it is they can find it.

DON’T tell me that it won’t work, and DON’T tell me that Amazon is too big!! Obviously there is a market out there for the kinds of erotica that Amazon refuses to provide, so DON’T tell other erotica authors not to write it!! And DON’T expect readers to settle for anything less. Because they won’t.

Telling erotica authors to “follow the rules” and “color inside the lines” is the most asinine fucking thing I’ve ever heard of. By our very NATURE , we break rules and completely obliterate the fucking lines!!!

That’s what MAKES us erotica authors!

Our readers don’t expect anything less.

Nor should they.


Available on Carnal Pleasures – P Is For Pleasure by Surely Wilder

158b17598b9ccc423ce80077600c761c.image.374x600Surely Wilder – P Is For Pleasure


[Mother Son Incest, Impregnation, MILF Seduction, Oral & Anal Sex, Explicit Talk, BDSM Dungeon, Bondage & Discipline, Spanking, Golden Showers, Group Sex]

      Widowed at an early age, Kathleen foregoes the pleasures of physical intimacy and romance to raise her son to adulthood. She never realizes her sacrifice and devotion are fully appreciated by her son until he sets a clever trap to seduce her. Still, a mother worries; she cannot give in to her own growing desires until she knows his love for her, and his desire for a child, are as sincere as hers.

Ordinarily, incestuously-themed stories that include elements of resulting pregnancy are not really my cup of tea. There are, however, exceptions, and this featured selection would certainly be one of them!

One of the things that make incestuous stories so appealing to me is the naturally built-in emotional factors that just cannot be present in any other erotica genre. It’s something I like to explore as an author, and something I like to experience as a reader. Even with it naturally built in, many erotica authors don’t really explore it to its fullest potential. This author obviously does! Just looking at the word count and reading the excerpt is enough to tell you that. Many erotica writers barely get past the concept of son wanting to put his tab A into mom’s slot B. Not so in this case. There is the slow build-up, the conflicting emotions, the internal arguments, all the taboo nuances that this author obviously explores in great depth. It’s an agonizing climb to the eventual sexual fulfillment, but ohh, it hurts so good!!

And what could be better than an in-depth story exploring all the delicious nuances of forbidden pleasure between mother and son? A sequel which adds all those elements between father and daughter into the mix as well!

So far P Is For Pleasure parts 1 & 2 are the only selections available on Surely Wilder’s author page. Hopefully there will be many more titles to come from this author.


      With that, Philip descended again and put his babymaker at the opening of my sex. This time there was no pushing, we both held perfectly still in this moment of decision.
      “So, if I say yes, you will keep me naked whenever possible?”
      “Yes,” Philip growled.
      “You’ll make me go down on my knees and suck your hard cock till your hot cum explodes in my mouth?”
      “Yes.” His voice softened.
      “You’ll scream vile and perverted things at me and fuck me when I least expect it?”
      “Yes, Whore.” Oh God, I never thought that word could be a compliment, but in this time and place it described exactly how I felt. Still, I had to know just a little more.
      “You’ll show me all the ways of pleasure and deny me no fantasy?”
      “You’ll kiss me gently at night and tell me how much you love me?”
      “Always,” he promised with sincerity.
      “You’ll knock Mommy up and give her as many babies as she wants?”
      “You’ll do all these things for me?”
      “This and more, this is only the beginning of your training.”
      Oh, what a thought, my sexual training? I had my answer. I tilted my pelvis up and felt his cock open my chamber as I screamed. “Then do it, son. I am your willing fuck toy. Plunge your cunt stick into me and never ask permission again,” I pleaded.
      With that, I felt Philip’s weight press down on me as his prick stabbed into my birth canal. It was a heavenly pressure filled with so much promise and more. I was fully aware of the vows I had just made to him. I could only hope that he would be true to the vows he had given me. I was also very aware that we were fucking for real. At 38, I could have many more children, and I was willing to have as many as we could afford.

Word Count: 42,009

If you are an erotica author who would like your ebooks featured on Carnal Pleasures, contact Jo at Boruma Publishing. You can send her an email at boruma@borumapublishing.com, or you can contact her through the Boruma Publishing website.

Warm, Watered Down, and All the Fizz Is Gone

still havent gotten offOkay, so you just KNEW I’d be saying something about this at some point! :)

Once again, author Selena Kitt presents us with an article exposing the blatant hypocrisy of Amazon. Of course, exposing Amazon’s hypocrisy is like shooting fish in a barrel these days. And she really presents no new information in this latest offering. But very few people are able to rip Amazon a new asshole with the kind of grace and style that Ms. Kitt offers, so of course I personally found this latest posting of hers uplifting most of the way through it.

You notice I said “most of the way through it”. For near the end, Ms. Kitt, like most other erotica authors, old and new, lament and lambast Amazon for the hoops that Amazon makes erotica authors jump through incessantly, yet in almost the next breath she proceeds to promote the very titles that Amazon has forced her to “water down” in order to gain the coveted acceptance onto their illustrious pages. She EVEN promotes that there is a “special” going on for them!

Yes, I understand that bills need to be paid. And yes, I understand that making money is a big part of this whole “writing erotica” deal. But once again, feeding the beast that keeps biting your ass is the very definition of counterproductive. I’ve said it a hundred times before, and I’m going to keep saying it.. Until erotica authors start promoting OTHER venues besides Amazon where their books are available, NOTHING is going to change! Stories will keep getting watered down, transcripts and covers will keep needing to be revised, titles, blurbs and descriptions will keep needing to be “guessed at” as far as what words will be able to slip through the “filters”, and erotica authors will continue to feel that tightening in their gut every time they press the “Publish” button!

Before I go any further, can I just say one thing? I absolutely can’t STAND reading “pseudo-incest” erotica!!! Trying to read pseudo-incest stories is like trying to watch Japanese porn. Sure, they show everything, but they end up pixelizing all the “naughty” parts. Or trying to watch episodes of the old TV show “Girls Next Door”, about Hugh Hefner and his three live-in girlfriends. Yes, entire breasts were shown, but the nipples were “photoshopped” out of them. I mean, what the fuck, we all KNOW the “parts” are there, what’s  the point in trying to pretend they’re not?? Going out of your way to point out that a character is just a “step” brother, or “step” mom or whatever pretty much garners the same effect.

Newsflash: Insulting my intelligence is not the way to make my dick hard.

Anyway, here’s the link to Ms. Kitt’s latest article. I’d considered posting it in its entirety once again, as I have for previous articles of hers I’d commented on, but this commentary got to be pretty long, so I’ll forgo doing that this time around. I did enjoy the article, but I did get a mild touch of mental whiplash near the end.

It seemed to be yet another typical case of erotica authors ending up feeding the hand that bites them.

Just released: Come Again, WTF erotica by K.C. Cave

The latest release from my fellow Carnal Pleasures author K.C. Cave!!

An Injection of Inspiration

new linesThere are periods in my life when I go through a rather serious crisis of the soul.

Times when I find myself questioning everything, contemplating where I’m at, where I want to go, and my place in the grand scheme of things. Times when it seems that all I can see are roadblocks, and where I want to be seems light years away.

I have definitely been going through such a crisis recently. To the point where I have at times seriously considered abandoning my current pursuits. I have always found it somewhat difficult to “fit in”, and the pursuit of erotica authorship seemed to be turning out to be no exception.

Then I come across something like this…

I came across this blog post while perusing through my Twitter feed this morning. For many it will be a swift kick in the ass. For me, it was a much needed shot in the arm.

The post can be read directly at its source here, but I present it below in its entirety:

Monday, October 6, 2014


I was considering posting my thoughts under “Ravings Of A Mad Writer” because it would seem that my thoughts belong there. I’m feeling an internal rant coming on; cresting, roaring, breaking like Mother Nature’s most wicked fury. But this isn’t just my issue. This is AN issue. Prepare yourself for my long explanation and anger. I hope some of you can share my anger. Warning: I say fuck a lot.


Noun – a social or religious custom prohibiting or restricting a particular practice or forbidding association with a particular person, place, or thing.

Adjective – prohibited or restricted by social custom : sex was a taboo subject

ORIGIN late 18th cent: From Tongan tabu’set apart, forbidden’ ; introduced into English by Captain Cook

Ok. So I’m really hating this Captain Cook guy right now… Not because he coined a word to encompass all the things that are socially or religiously unacceptable, but because he coined something in the 18th century. It might not be all that rational to dislike like this guy based on his time period, but I just can’t help it. I honestly feel the taboos relevant to the 18th century are still relevant today. Herein lies the problem.

All religious notions aside; God fucking help us.

I’m so angry with the modern world right now that I could spit tacks. I find myself cursing when I search out publishers to submit my newest completed work to. One tiny moment at the very end of my story (A Normal Girl) will be the sole reason my fiction is rejected before anyone has even given it a chance.

Reading through submission guidelines, I run across things like:

1.  “No scat or depictions or misuse of excretory functions.” Does that mean poop or pee?
2.  “No deprived acts” What the hell does that mean? Depravity has no bounds…
3.  “We do not accept bestiality (does not apply to shapeshifters), rape, etc.” The Shapeshifter bit makes me laugh because THEN bestiality is OK, but what the fuck does “etc.” mean?

Really. If a publisher can’t clarify something on their webpage as important as to what is admissible or not, then they shouldn’t be a fucking publishing house!

I began writing my story to prove a point and drive home a message important to me, and now I struggle with the possibility my story will never be read by mass readers. All the other struggles aside; submitting, competing with other authors, making it through the cracks and not being cast into the unholy slush pile of disregarded and forgotten manuscripts… Geeze. Like it’s not already hard enough. Now I get to deal with not belonging in the “published by a publishing house” category because my subjects of fiction are taboo.

What makes something taboo? Who says what topics aren’t ok? Who has that power? Why? My story’s taboo is used to make a point, not to titillate. But that’s beside the point. Even if I had taken a taboo subject and glorified it, made it sexy, it shouldn’t fucking matter. Apparently because it’s fiction, it’s just not OK.

Pisses me off that the rules aren’t the same for non-fiction. You hear about autobiographies from so-and-so all the time about their time in captivity during war and the atrocities they went through. You read about rape and incest survivors and hear about how well their stories sell in the book stores. Why is what I’m writing about different? Why am I not allowed to write and publish what I want because it’s fiction and taboo? Does a true story have more merit than the creativity I pull out of my head?

I don’t think so. FICTION. Sweet mercy, people. Do we really live in such a world where ancient taboos are still modern? How many hundreds of years have to pass before writing–free to write, free speech and all–is really allowed. How dare anyone tell me or anyone else what’s not OK.

So fuck you backward thinking publishing houses. OH! And fuck you Amazon. Fuck you for banning books based on societal taboos. Fuck you society for making anyone feel ashamed about reading material. I don’t condone underage sex, incest, rape, bestiality (with or without shapeshifters), or other “depraved acts,” but I do condone writing about them, however you fucking want to write about them. Your own personal thoughts and opinions, especially in fiction, is a god given right.

I’ll continue to write what I want and how I want. I might not reach the masses with my story’s message, but I might reach one or two. I’ll still be heard, and maybe my message will make a different in the life of those willing to overlook the taboo.

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