Personal thoughts on “Confessions of My Nephew”

Confessions cover updated 437x700This was the one that started it all. (Well… seriously started it all, anyway.) My first leap into actually attempting to become an established erotica author. I can’t begin to count the number of lessons learned in creating this story and setting it free to fly.

This actually isn’t the first story of mine to get published. That dubious honor actually goes to “Watch Me, Daddy” (later re-titled  “Craving His Attention”), the first in the “Angel Falls Library Files” series which I submitted to Smashwords directly. But “Confessions of My Nephew” was the first story I sat down and wrote for the purpose of trying to get published. And boy, was it a freaking mess when I finished writing and submitting it! Not so much the story itself, but the format and style was probably about as “amateur” as you can get.

The CEO of Boruma Publishing, who the story was eventually handed to, painstakingly went through the story and cleaned it up, correcting the uncountable formatting and styling mistakes, as well as offered re-wordings throughout. I thoroughly enjoyed this collaboration, as every few days or so she would send me another chapter she got done working on, and I watched my roughly written tale gradually transform into a much more comprehensive piece of prose. I learned very valuable lessons along the way as well through her examples of what a good published story should actually look like. I will admit, there were a few times I felt a bit of trepidation reading though her changes, thinking, “You know, this really doesn’t sound like me.” But then I thought, well, that’s probably the point. LOL! It wasn’t really SUPPOSED to sound like me, it was supposed to sound like the main character Stacy, as told through her perspective. Today I might not have accepted quite so much of the re-writes, keeping it a bit more to my style of writing, but overall I am extremely pleased with the final results.

As for the story itself, I’m sure it doesn’t quite follow the “standard” (if there is such a thing) taboo/incest tale. (Actually, I hope NONE of my stories do.) I am a bit surprised at times that I haven’t gotten at least a comment or two lamenting the fact that Derrick and his mother never did end up getting together sexually. I certainly considered the option as I was writing it, and I left open the possibility of a sequel where that avenue could be explored, but this particular tale was very much Stacy’s story! Her self-discovery, her hidden desires, her re-evaluations about her own morality. (Which she considered was loose enough to begin with the way it was.) I also found the juxtaposition of Rebecca’s conventionality against the free-thinking mindset of her sister Stacy a fascinating contrast. Were Rebecca to had actually ended up being sexually intimate with her son in this particular story, that contrast would have been vastly diluted, if not eliminated altogether. In spite of their differences, Stacy loved her sister just the way she was, and I didn’t want to paint Stacy as someone who would just set out to transform her sister into a different version of herself. It was a much more titillating (and believable) concept to portray Stacy as someone who would say, “If I had a son like Derrick who I knew was hot for me, this is what I would do!”

Plus, Rebecca’s “unattainability” was a huge part of the sexual draw that Derrick felt for his mother. Had Derrick actually fulfilled his illicit desire to be intimate with her, the relationship he would have “lost” with her wouldn’t have been worth what he would have gained. Stacy was his perfect “outlet”. Being able to maintain his existing relationship with his mother while still indulging in his fantasies about her.

wicked-thingI also thoroughly enjoyed incorporating the concept of “dreams” in this story. From personal experience, I know how ‘erotic’ dreams can be at times, how sometimes they can tease and haunt you for days, weeks, sometimes even years afterwards. Anything can happen in dreams, no matter how unrealistic or absurd. Some of them may not even make any sense, yes still send a thrill rushing through you unlike any “real” experience ever could. I’ve included the concept of dreams in a number of my Angel Falls series, and will most likely focus on them in many additional stories.

I didn’t intend it this way, but this story very much gradually transformed into an unconventional “love story” between Stacy and Derrick. I loved that concept! As the scenes progressed they found themselves in love with each other in a way very few people could ever comprehend. And to me, that was even more of a “titillation” factor than it would have been had Derrick and his mother actually ended up being intimate with each other, and quite possibly leaving Stacy out in the cold. I loved exploring that avenue, and felt it put a unique exclamation mark on an already sexually exciting story. It was also a prime example of how more often than not a story usually ends up writing itself at some point.

For me, this story contains everything a “taboo” story should include. The shock of discovering one’s own lewd thoughts, the guilt of realizing your own excitement by them, coming to terms with the fact that you are not “normal” to most people, and finding an acceptance with someone who shares the same desires as you do. It also includes one aspect I try to include in most of my stories, and that’s one of eventual self-acceptance of one’s own feelings and desires. And even though it’s not “normal”, what you feel, what you have, and what you do works for you, and what other people think really doesn’t matter.

And of course lots of hot sex in the process. 😉

For me, this was a fantastic “leap” into the world of serious erotic storytelling. The thrill of seeing the story develop into a readable tale, receiving the design for the cover, and actually seeing it listed among a plethora of other delightful taboo tomes is an experience that can’t be described. Perhaps someday I might attempt a sequel to this story, or maybe winkeven a series based on other confessions to “Aunt Stacy”. One of the main things this book has taught me is there are always possibilities. 🙂

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