Tag Archives: censorship

Disclaiming the disclaimer

“Note: All characters depicted in the image below are over the legal age of 18.”

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Well… actually… No, they’re not. Hate to break that to you, but you had to learn sometime, young grasshopper.

The characters in the image are purely fictitious. They were never born. They’ve never had birthdays. Not a one. They only exist in the mind of their creator.

So I ask you, how silly is it to make a claim that they are actually over a certain age?

Yet that’s exactly what needs to be specifically claimed in order for images like that to be posted or displayed on most forums and web sites, even the most “adult” oriented ones.

I write erotica. Very “naughty” erotica. So naughty that if the characters were actually real and were caught engaging in some of the activities I write about they could very well be spending considerable time behind bars.In order for my stories to be accepted by most distributors my publisher has to put a notice on the title page stating that all characters in the story are over the legal age of 18. But it’s a lie. They’re not. Not because they are or are not written that way, but because the characters do not in fact actually exist. They are an “idea” expressed in words. Just as the drawing above is an “idea” expressed through lines and colors put together to form an image. To tack on a disclaimer stating that all the characters are over the age of 18 as if those characters were in fact actually real is downright ludicrous.

Many people -probably most- believe that writing a story or drawing a picture of very young people engaging in sexual acts is illegal. It’s actually not. I could write scene after scene about having sex with a two year old and I would still be within legal limits. Actually doing so would be another matter completely of course, but I could write about it as much as I please. I wouldn’t do that, of course. Not because it’s illegal, or even necessarily because it’s immoral in some way, but because the concept doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest. I wouldn’t write about a woman being raped either, regardless of age, for the same reason. I prefer all my characters to be happily fucking each other. No matter what their ages.

Actual photographs or videos depicting very young people engaged in sex is another matter. That’s actual proof that someone was in fact harmed in the creation of them. But drawings? Stories? If these actually were illegal there would most likely be quite a number of art gallery and museum curators locked up right now. Some works by Shakespeare would be illegal to own. As far as that goes, the Bible itself would end up being criminalized. Yet none of these things have “disclaimers” being tacked onto them. To do so would be absolutely silly.

And so is putting “disclaimers” on my stories.

The powers that be certainly like to perpetuate the myth that writing about very young people having sex is illegal. I guess they figure it would curtail other folks writing about it or reading about it. The sad fact is it seems to be working. And who are these “powers that be”? Outfits like PayPal and credit card processors mostly. Can you imagine that? Bankers actually taking a moral high ground. Actually, they’re not even doing that. They’re securing their profits by trying to protect their “image”. They seem to have a fear of even looking like they’re even remotely supporting such notions. That’s their absolute right, I suppose. But in doing so they’re sorely stifling freedom of expression.

So, when you see the “disclaimer” at the beginning of my stories, I hope you’ll just give it the short little laugh it deserves for being so ridiculous and go on to enjoy my naughty little tale. But once… just once!... I would love to be able to put on a disclaimer such as this one:

“Note: NONE of the characters in the following story are over the legal age of 18! They actually have no ages. They were never actually born. They’ve never had birthdays. They are purely figments of the author’s imagination. They don’t really exist. Get the fuck over it.”

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Well, that was fun while it lasted…

way-too-naughtyWell, the holiday season is upon us. And, as usually happens, Amazon and a few other illustrious vendors of the written word has decided to go in and do their seasonal purge to “protect” their pristine images. Which of course means my catalog of available titles gracing their pages has -once again- shrunk considerably.

Merry fucking Christmas to me.

So, sorry Amazon addicts, you must travel a different road to reach the dubiously incestuous little town of Angel Falls. You can, however, still get your fill of couples cheating on each other. Apparently that’s still much more acceptable than consensual copulation with one’s own kin. Go figure.

Actually, the story behind that is somewhat amusing. Kobo was actually the one who started raising a stink to the distributor that Boruma Publishing uses to submit to sites such as Amazon, Kobo, and numerous others. Amazon of course decided to jump on that bandwagon. In effect, that distributor decided it would no longer accept – at all- anything that delved into incest, BDSM, dubcon, or anything else that would surely and swiftly cause the downfall of civilization as we know it. However, once that distributor actually saw the HUGE percentage of titles that Boruma Publishing removed from their listings because of that policy, it made them say, “Umm… Hey… Wait a minute…”

At least they know what side their bread is buttered on.

So, reversing their decision, they became much more lax on the subject matter they will accept. They still won’t distribute those titles to American-based behemoths such as Amazon and Kobo, but they will still distribute to the numerous international sites they deal with, which is actually starting to provide them a much bigger percentage of profits than even Amazon.

So much for the land of the fucking free…

fuck-you

Angel Falls returns to Amazon

censoredSometimes the good folks at Boruma Publishing just amaze the shit out of me.

Going through various channels, the first four books of The Angel Falls Library Files, “Craving His Attention“, “Sharing Secrets“, “Give and Take“, and “Tattletale“, are once again gracing the pages of the ever-popular Kindle section of Amazon’s website. (The links for each can be found on each book’s individual page.) Books 5 and 6 are expected there shortly.

I have rather mixed feelings about this…While I applaud Boruma’s efforts and abilities, it is, after all, Amazon. “Feeding the beast” is still somewhat distasteful to me, considering the way Amazon treats many individual authors. Plus the fact that, even though these titles managed to slip through despite their EXTREMELY taboo nature, descriptions and excerpts had to be “adjusted” to hide that fact, which in effect means that readers really won’t know what they’re getting until they actually buy the title, and readers who actually DO want titles that extremely taboo still won’t be able to find it unless totally by accident.

In any case, there they are for those folks who are helplessly addicted to Amazon’s nifty little “Buy now with one click” button. I would still much rather readers buy my books through other venues for various reasons, not the least of which is that the royalty percentage I receive through Amazon sales is atrocious due to the various channels these books need to go through. (I receive the highest royalty percentage on sales through Carnal Pleasures and Carnaltopia.) But, for those who insist on only going the Amazon route as their source for smutty entertainment, well… a sale is a sale, I suppose. I just won’t get paid as much.

By the way, the debut title of my love, Lilly-Rose Young, “Pushing Boundaries“, is also available on Amazon.

Why I Will NEVER Become a “Successful” Erotica Author

being a writerThe business of writing erotica is a rather strange animal these days. Perhaps it always has been, but considering I’ve only been a serious contender in this game for the past couple of years, that’s really the only experience I have to draw on. I spend a considerable amount of time pondering on where we are, how we got here, and…probably most importantly…what can we do about it. As is usually the case, the answer to the last question is as varied as the authors it affects. There really is no “one-size-fits-all” solution that will work for each individual author.

A question was posed recently on the Erotic Authors forum on Reddit:

“How profitable are using dedicated adult epublishers for non-Amazon safe kinks?”

A rather excellent question to pose, actually. However, me offering any sort of response personally on that particular forum is usually not a good idea. My viewpoints are not well received there. I’m sure a couple of people from there will follow me here and drag me in front of the tribunal to deliver the obligatory 30 lashes for daring to speak ANYTHING negative about Amazon or the authors who publish on it, but at least I can’t be justifiably accused of “starting a fight” there. (Not that it would actually stop anybody from doing so, of course.)

Truthfully, the short answer to the above posed question is, only moderately so. Let’s face it, the way this erotica writing thing is set up at the moment, I will NEVER expand beyond just the nice little extra “spending money” I receive monthly from my publisher. Admittedly, this is mostly by choice. As much as some people may want to accuse me of playing the “Victim of Amazon” card, it is certainly not what I’m doing, nor have I ever done that. I tell people time and time again, if Amazon works for you, then by all means go that route.

The frustrating thing for me usually is I see author after author after author complaining about how Amazon operates, how they keep getting screwed over by Amazon, how fearful they always are about getting dungeoned or dropped completely by Amazon every time they press the “Publish” button, yet time after time after time the only solutions that are ever given any serious consideration involves continuing to feed the hand that bites them. Because of Amazon’s recent changes to their Kindle Unlimited program, authors of erotica, especially short form erotica, now have to work at least three times as hard to maintain the same amount of money they were earning before these changes. I sympathize completely with those who are so dependent on Amazon when they say, “Well, what else can we do?” Unfortunately, the only answer I can give today is, “Nothing”. The main reason I am not a “victim of Amazon” is that I got in on this erotica writing endeavor shortly after Amazon and many of the other biggies did their erotica purge. I never grew dependent on Amazon’s royalties. Real, honest “victims of Amazon” however are out there. By the hundreds, if not the thousands.

The problem right now is, Amazon makes it too easy. They make it easy for authors to write crap, and they make it easy for readers to buy it. One click to publish, one click to purchase. Their fucking apps are everywhere. They come pre-installed on damn near every computer, every tablet, every smartphone. Do I blame Amazon for this? Fuck no. no orgasm for youShrewd business folk they are, they’ve expertly learned how to profit from convenience. If readers want to buy poorly written erotica, and writers want to produce it, why is that Amazon’s fault?

(And yes, some people will totally rip me a new one for using the words “poorly written erotica”, but honestly, you CANNOT convince me that dozens of ‘so-called’ authors can pump out 5k stories on a daily, or even weekly basis and honestly say that these are anywhere NEAR being considered “quality” work!)

One of the questions asked in the above post is, is there a market big enough to make it worth publishing outside of Amazon? The answer to that easily is, of course there is! If nothing else, Amazon itself has proven that to a fault. The “market” is definitely there. The question is, outside of Amazon, how does an author reach them?

Readers definitely want quality erotica. The problem is, readers don’t want to look that hard to find it. As difficult as it must surely be to try to find diamonds among the dung heaps on Amazon, readers are willing to do that because it’s… everyone say it with me now… “convenient“! One stop, click click click, oh, this one looks like it might be interesting, click to read (hell, they don’t even have to buy the damn thing these days with convenient subscription), read until they’re bored, click click click, wash, rinse, repeat, run out of shampoo. (Sorry.. Idea for a shower scene popped into my head.)

think differentAuthors who publish outside of Amazon (or who want to) need to make it easier for readers to find them. Readers don’t know. All they know is the convenience of Amazon. And this is what trips a lot of authors up when trying to do anything outside the virtual walls of Amazon. This necessitates authors becoming more adept at self-promotion. I’m fortunate enough to have a little bit of background experience in that area. Many authors do not. I understand. What I don’t understand is most authors are soooo willing to take the time and effort to try to learn not only formatting correctly, but also try to figure out all the ‘secret’ ways to work around Amazon’s restrictions, learn keyword usage, unlock SEO strategies, and basically “game the Amazon system”, but yet choose to remain so totally clueless on the best ways to self-promote and refuse to learn how because Amazon will simply do that shit for them if they go exclusive. Well, how’s that working for ya?

At the risk of sounding completely immodest, I am extremely proud of my stories. I never send ANYTHING out unless I am at least moderately satisfied with them, and they tell the story I wish to tell. They are of good quality, many people have bought and read them, and I have received much complimentary feedback from folks who have truly enjoyed them.

So why am I not “successful”? Well, in many ways I am. I write what I want, people have bought and enjoyed them, and I get satisfaction out of putting together a good story written in a quality manner. I can honestly look at my catalog and say, “Hey… I did a damn good job!”

Why am I not making more money? Well, mainly by choice. Not only do I refuse to cater to Amazon’s ridiculous and ever-changing guidelines and strategies, I refuse to spend so much effort trying to cater to people’s laziness. I do know how to write fairly decent promotional pieces and I can point people in the direction to go, but you know the story about horses and water. I will keep trying, though. I’m fully convinced my “audience” is out there. It’s just a matter of figuring out which walls to break down that separates us. Or patiently waiting for the time it takes for that to happen. In the meantime, I’m out nothing but my time, which I spend doing what I like doing anyway, whether I make money at it or not. It would be nice though to be able to spend more time doing it. 🙂

doing what you lovePeople ask me all the time why I don’t just publish what Amazon will accept. Well, then it really wouldn’t be my story now, would it? Sure, I could make money at it. Maybe even make a living at it. But then again I wouldn’t enjoy what I’m doing.

And where is the “success” in that?

Paint-by-number dreams…

I love that Jackson Browne song “The Pretender”! Its poetic description of settling for a hum-drum existence, and the concept of attempting to achieve success through conformity.

That song kept floating through my mind as I read through the insightful article linked below by fellow erotica author Lily Weidner, as she describes in excruciating detail her thoughts and conclusions regarding an experiment she participated in regarding trying to publish through Amazon’s new “KU2” formula.

I would not have the fortitude to participate in such an experimental endeavor, not to mention even having the time. I certainly applaud Lily’s efforts and willingness. In the end, she came to many of the same conclusions I came to on my own in time. The most important one in my opinion being, if in the end you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, what’s really the point?

It’s a very lengthy and extremely detailed article, so I’m not posting it here in its entirety. You’ll need to go to Lily’s website directly to read through the whole thing. But believe me, it’s well worth the trip. 🙂

Sorry, no sexy images, no fancy formatting in this entry… Just a simple passing along of some words of wisdom.

“Are you there? Say a prayer…”

 

My Amazon eBook Publishing Experience

“I do not over-intellectualize the production process. I try to keep it simple: Tell the damned story.” —Tom Clancy

Antique Books

When I first started writing back in 2010, short stories were taking off. Sadly, I took a break before Amazon came out with their Kindle Unlimited (KU) program in 2014. What would transpire within those few months changed the viability of shorts within the industry. Coming back from my extended break, I found the market extremely different. To my surprise authors weren’t just turning toward longer works, they were now asking if short stories were even a viable sales option.

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The more research I did, in an effort to figure out what happened, I found Amazon the center of great controversy. Some authors blamed Amazon for ruining the short story market even before their recent change to the Kindle Unlimited program started around June 2015. What has transpired between authors since will not fill anyone with hope. Authors have come to take sides on this argument, with many self published authors shoving their ideas onto forcefully onto others.

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That’s where things took an interesting turn for me as an author. My own opinion was not met with warm reception. Instead, I met a group of self published authors who felt they knew the market better than some publishers and from whom I met the harshest criticism imaginable. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but only so long as they do not harm others by voicing it. In this case, I found a few predominate opinions I felt were harmful to new authors trying to find their way in the self publishing industry.

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(Click >>here<< or on the title to read the rest in its entirety)

The Dark and the Wild and the Different

rebel-all-the-wayOne of the reasons I write… and write about taboo topics in particular… is I have a fascination with why people do some of the things they do. (Sometimes the “why” doesn’t even matter.. The fact that they just do them is often reason enough.) In particular, what compels someone to do something.. or at least want to do something.. so bad that they are willing to break down or totally ignore every social barrier in place to prevent it?

In exploring these concepts, I feel the need to do so unfettered. Uncensored. People come up with so many reasons why I shouldn’t write what I write. How refreshing to come across an article which blows the shit out of some of those compelling (and oftentimes not so compelling) arguments.

I submit today a blog entry I found on the site of Go Deeper Press. I haven’t dug very deep into their website yet, but I fully intend to. In the meantime, here are some excellent words on why writers should be free to express themselves as fully as they wish to, and how censorship can be far more dangerous than it is “protective”, and how NO topic or concept should be “off limits” as far as a writer (or anyone else) expressing themselves:

A Trauma Survivor on Why We’re Anti-Censorship

Go Deeper Press Advertisement: Free Your Fantasies

So here’s a thing. We don’t censor our writers. We never have and we never will, and we feel passionately about this.

When we posted our recent submissions guidelines, we received a rush of messages from erotica authors effectively saying, “We’re so glad you guys are open to submissions again! We so appreciate the way you don’t censor us or tell us what we can or can’t write about.”

You can see from our list, and also from our daily erotica at the Deeper Daily, that we do not censor. In fact, we believe that topics that other publishers consider “taboo” can be the very heart and soul of a work. Some of the erotica/literary porn we’ve published that contains non-consensual or “taboo” sex includes Con, Book 1: You Can Play It Safe When You’re Dead(twincest by yours truly), First by Jacob Louder (sex among young people who are “underage”),Femme Fatale (erotica about dangerous women, some of who commit murder), Squeeze Pantsby Dario Dalla Lasta (one story includes sexual force that is as hot as it is terrifying), and Shameless Behavior (erotic stories of overcoming shame, including, for example, piss play), to name but a few. There are plenty of others to come. What’s more, elements of post-sexual non-consent also exist in my novel Cream: An Erotic Romance, in which consent is explored both for the sake of passion and for the sake of safety and healing. To read an amazing post on Cream and its treatment of consent, check out the wonderful Annabeth Leong, author of the powerful Untouched, who, for us, is an ardent partner in the fight against shame.

[bctt tweet=”I was cured by a taboo fantasy during sex, one that Angela and I shared when we were first lovers.”]

As a woman who suffered sexual abuse in my childhood (this, I don’t remember very well) and sexual shaming in a religious cult (which I do remember, vividly), I was cured by a “taboo” fantasy during sex, one that Angela and I shared when we were first lovers. Playing out the fantasy of teacher and child with a lover I deeply trusted cured me in the bedroom. In real life, it would have been an insufferable act, but in fantasy, it was profoundly compassionate, so much so that it healed me and brought me into the light. I was able to heal by transforming trauma into trust and play. Finally, I could stay in my self during sex, without feeling like my body had been chopped from my soul.

That night, I was free as a kite, a moon, a sun. I was liberated and loved. I wept because I feltreal.

I tell you this today to show you why we fight on a daily basis to bring fantasy out of the shadows.

Books like Anais Nin’s Incest (containing details of the erotic affair she had with her father) were also an invaluable part of my healing during the time I suffered from PTSD. Without that book, I might not have had the courage to start leaving my shame behind.

Many other sexual trauma survivors will tell you similar stories. And many will tell you the exact opposite—that they cannot read non-consensual sex, that it is triggering for them. We are alldifferent, all worthy of respect, and this must be acknowledged. (A book I will always be grateful for is The Survivor’s Guide to Sex by Traci Haines. If you are a sexual trauma survivor, I deeply recommend it.) It should also be recognized that many readers who haven’t suffered trauma can find darker fantasies liberating and transformative. So we will never say to you, “This must not be imagined.” We will never say to you, “This must not be art.” And we will always warn you when our erotica becomes “taboo,” so that you can freely decide whether you want to read it, just in case it is triggering for you.

That said, check out this awesome discussion by our friends the Pillow Talk writers on “taboo” topics in erotica.

We’re proud to say that we don’t censor.

And we never will.

Love always,

Lana

A repost – Personal thoughts on “Lucy”

While perusing through posts on my Tumblr dashboard today, I came across a post by fellow taboo erotica author Lily Weidner where she offered a few of her own personal thoughts on her latest release, “Daddy’s Bride”. In my experience, very few authors seem to do this very often, especially in the erotica genre.

I’ve only written a couple of these “author’s perspective” posts myself: One for my ebook “Lucy” and the other for “Sharing Secrets“, which is book 2 of my Angel Falls series. As time goes on I will attempt to write more. In the meantime though, here is a repost of my own personal perspectives on “Lucy”:Lucy psp cover 1 500x800

Personal thoughts on “Lucy” – 1st story from Spinning Heads: Volume Two

lucy thoughts postI definitely had periods where I felt a combination of sadness and frustration while rewriting this story for inclusion into the Spinning Heads series…

Like all of my stories in this anthology, this was written several years ago, back before there was such an irrational “fear” of any sort of portrayal of teenage sexual activity. I mean, there was, but it wasn’t in such epidemic proportions as it is today.

In the original version of this title, Lucy’s story actually started when she was 14. However, due to the fact that most publisher out there now  won’t even dare touch a story like that, basically what I had to do was go through and either eliminate any reference to age, or rewrite it to allude to the fact that these events took place in the latter senior year of high school and the first years of college, giving at least the appearance that this all took place after she came of legal age. What that basically translates to is that I had to “pretend” that anyone under the age of 18 is completely sexless. I think most people would agree that trying to portray a person who didn’t discover his or her sexuality at all until the “magical” age of 18 is absolutely ludicrous to say the least. But, those are the “restrictions” to which I and every single other author in this country must adhere to if there is any chance at all of any publisher or distributor carrying our works.

Can you imagine??? Think about it… Using the restrictions in place today, books like “Summer Of ’42” never would have seen the light of day.

Consider this also… Most biblical scholars agree that the Virgin Mary was around 13-14 years of age when the immaculate conception occurred. Yet I can practically guarantee you that every single major publishing house offers The Bible among their selections! Apparently it’s okay for God to knock up a 14 year old, but not anyone else. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg as far as the Bible goes! There’s more sex and violence in the bible, including rape, incest, and bestiality, than you can shake a pulpit at, yet portraying a 14 year old masturbating in her bed at night is an unbreakable taboo.  Let alone “exploring” her sexuality with another person!

Hopefully I made this story “work” despite all the restrictions that had to be placed on it. But I get so fucking tired of having to deal with all the factions out there trying so hard to “sanitize” this country to the point where we all have to pretend that sex doesn’t exist at all for a person until a certain magical age. Not only is it unrealistic, it is an insult to everyone’s intelligence to try to convince a reader that sexual discovery was practically nonexistent before that particular age.

This is just another glaring example of how “censorship” threatens artistic expression. It also threatens a reader’s ability to choose, as well as insults everyone’s intelligence in the process.


Ownership of our eroticism

computer sex 003Porn… Gotta love it, right?

Well, no, you don’t really “gotta”.. Some people do, and some people don’t. Some people can’t even agree on what “porn” actually is. And really, that’s okay. Like many things, “porn” can simply be a matter of perspective. As human beings we’re entitled to that.

I’ve been playing around with my Tumblr account quite a lot the last few days. Mainly I use my Tumblr page to try to promote my ebooks. but I also like posting and reblogging things that personally appeal to me. Tumblr is a fantastic arena to do that, as it’s extremely unrestrictive compared to most other social media outlets. Plus, being as “anonymous” as it is, people can be more freely “themselves” there. I love that, seeing what people are really like deep down inside, what they keep hidden from most of the world. (Well, mostly I love it. Some of it, well… ehh..) In any case, it’s incredibly easy to find others of like mind on Tumblr, no matter how “perverted” your mind may happen to be.

Finding “porn” of course is incredibly easy.. Finding GOOD porn, well, that’s another story entirely. For me, most porn is like trying to watch a science fiction movie made in the ’50’s.. It’s cheap, it’s cheesy, most often just gratuitous, and totally unbelievable. That doesn’t make ’50’s sci-fi movies “bad”, it just makes them not good for me.

computer sex (2)Mainly what I look for in “porn”.. and most anything else for that matter.. is something that fuels my imagination. Most porn doesn’t do that. Mainly I question why these people seem to enjoy having sex in so many obviously uncomfortable positions, and WHAT the fuck is the enormous appeal of cumming on a woman’s face??? To me it’s rather gross, but obviously most men (and a fair  number of women) find it appealing. That doesn’t make most porn “bad”… It just makes it not good for me.

What burns the shit out of me is people who think ALL porn is “bad”, and want to eliminate all of it. Including the stuff that fuels my imagination. And I have a reeeeaaaal problem with people who want to take away stuff that fuels my imagination. Or anyone’s imagination.

Ultimately that’s what censorship does.. It stifles imagination. It makes people stop asking questions. It encourages conformity, And worst of all, it just makes sex boring. 🙂 (Well, okay, that’s not WORST of all, but hey, it’s right up there..)

Dr. Marty Klein is my fucking hero.. Seriously!! Very few people can so meticulously cut through bullshit like butter. Dr. Klein is among the best of the best at it. His latest article, dealing with why we watch porn, is as usual right on the mark. Here he squashes the arguments against porn like annoying little insects, but more importantly it encourages people to claim ownership of their own eroticism. And don’t let anyone take it away from you!

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Why does anyone look at porn?

Why does anyone look at porn?

For tens of millions of American men and women, there’s only one answer: To get more sexually excited. The goal of getting excited, of course, is to enhance the process by which people eventually get not-excited—also called satisfaction.

Lather, rinse, repeat three times per week for 75 years.

How someone feels about that—deliberately doing something to get more aroused—is an excellent predictor of how they will feel about pornography. For those suspicious of sexual arousal, porn is bad. For those who think that tinkering with our own arousal is selfish or creepy, porn is bad.

And for those who think arousal is OK, as long as it’s directly connected to one’s partner’s body, personality or sexual behavior, porn is also bad.

When people want to talk about their disapproval of porn’s mission of increasing excitement, they generally resort to one of the standard criticisms of porn:

* Watching porn is a form of infidelity
* It’s immoral
* It exploits actresses
* It gives consumers wrong/bad ideas about sex
* Consuming porn makes people withdraw from their partners
* It’s secretive, which hurts a relationship
* Consuming porn leads to violence against women
* It suggests novel, even “kinky” sexual activities
* It leads men to demand sexual behaviors from women that women don’t want to do.

As standard as these criticisms are, each has a straightforward response:

* It depends on how you define infidelity; what about lusting after women in the airport, or fantasizing about them while masturbating without porn?

* Some people prefer to measure morality by reference to ethics or how we treat others, rather than by a private erotic choice hurting no one.

* Watching porn exploits actresses to the same extent that watching pro football exploits athletes, who risk their physical safety for our entertainment. “The money they earn isn’t comparable”? So if porn actresses make a fortune (some do), watching porn is OK?

* Most adults watching porn know it depicts fantasy, not a documentary. In every society, in every age, people have held inaccurate or harmful ideas about sex. A lack of real sex education doesn’t help in this regard.

* No one withdraws from a sexual relationship that’s physically and emotionally satisfying, certainly not for the chance to masturbate to a video.

* People only keep their porn watching a secret when their mate demands it—via ultimatums, demands, or other rigidity. And yes, porn watchers could be braver about confronting this—but porn watching doesn’t have to inherently involve secrecy.

* Everyone knows porn watching has gone up, and every law enforcement agency says that the rate of sexual violence has gone down. If anything, there’s a strong argument that porn acts as a safety valve to reduce sexual violence.

* If learning new ways to do things is bad, the most dangerous person in town is Martha Stewart, the queen of reimagining what we can do and how we can do it.

* People have been pressuring each other for various sexual behaviors since the beginning of time. Thirty years ago it was oral sex; before that it was intercourse before marriage; before that it was kisses and embraces during courtship. We should be concerned that there are still people who can’t say “no” firmly enough within a relationship to prevent future invitations.

The deeper issue here is over ownership of our eroticism. Do we still own it when we’re in a relationship, or does the relationship now own it? If we agree to limit our sexual behavior within a relationship (as most people do), does “behavior” include sexual fantasy?

And is it a bad thing to nourish our relationship with our own eroticism?

Anyone who thinks so must also indict industries promoting fashion, perfume, plastic surgery, hairdressing, cars and other large consumer items. Not only are these designed to make us more attractive to others, they are also promoted to make us feel sexier, more glamorous, and more youthful—to affect how we feel about ourselves,  not only how others feel about us.

In a world where we’re all encouraged to increase our self-esteem and sense of empowerment, doesn’t that include our sense of our own sexuality? This is not an abstract thing; increasing our self-esteem and empowerment means, if we wish, increasing our experience of our own eroticism.

Particularly in monogamous relationships, viewing pornography—with or without masturbation—seems a particularly benign and effective way to do that.

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Three Cheers for Banned Books!!!

dirty storiesI love writing “dirty” stories.

More importantly, I love writing stories that contain ideas… In this case, the underlying theme in most of my stories (along with lots and lots of “hot sex”!!) is the idea of people being able to enter into whatever types of relationships that work for them and satisfy them. No matter WHAT type of relationship that happens to be!

Most people don’t seem to like that “idea”. They don’t understand it. It scares them. And because of that, they don’t wish me to express that idea. It makes them uncomfortable. To me, that’s what good writers do… They make people “uncomfortable”.

As a proud author of banned books (thanks, Amazon…), I thought I’d pass along some interesting information about other “banned books” and how they got banned, courtesy of the ACLU website:


Silence When We Need Speech

sexy reader 051The concept of censorship should be an atrocity to any author. But especially to an erotica author.

I’ve been “in hiding” for a while, therefore pretty much out of the loop. Getting back into the loop, haunting old hangouts, has at times been a little disheartening. While it doesn’t seem to be quite as prevalent, one of the burning questions still frequently being asked is, “What will get me banned?”

What a sorry question for an author to ask. What a pathetic issue to constantly keep in the back of your head as you’re sitting there trying to be creative. So nice to know that the Amazonian hoops are still so successfully squashing independent thought and ‘creativity. As big as they are, how can they not know what’s best for us, right.

With that in mind, here is a year-old article, boldly presented by a proud author of banned books:

Down With Censorship! 11 Quotes From Authors About The Tragedy of Book Banning

In honor of Banned Books Week 2014, we wanted to find out how some of history’s most influential thinkers feel about censorship. Scroll down to read their totally on-point comments.

“Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.” — Mark Twain

“It’s not just the books under fire now that worry me. It is the books that will never be written. The books that will never be read. And all due to the fear of censorship. As always, young readers will be the real losers.” — Judy Blume

“The crime of book purging is that it involves a rejection of the word. For the word is never absolute truth, but only man’s frail and human effort to approach the truth. To reject the word is to reject the human search. ” — Max Lerner

“If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed.” — Benjamin Franklin

“Books won’t stay banned. They won’t burn. Ideas won’t go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost.” — Alfred Whitney Griswold

“Yes, books are dangerous. They should be dangerous — they contain ideas.” — Pete Hautman

“Banning books gives us silence when we need speech. It closes our ears when we need to listen. It makes us blind when we need sight.” Steven Chbosky

“If librarianship is the connecting of people to ideas…it is crucial to remember that we must keep and make available, not just good ideas and noble ideas, but bad ideas, silly ideas, and yes, even dangerous or wicked ideas.” — Graceanne A. Decandidio

“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.” — Oscar Wilde

“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. ” — Joseph Brodsky

“Books and ideas are the most effective weapons against intolerance and ignorance.” — Lyndon Baines Johnson

Read more at http://blog.theliteracysite.com/down-with-censorship-11-quotes-from-authors-about-the-tragedy-of-book-banning/#XPmOip5GRer3lil1.99

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